Of all the skin in all the world that has attempted to fan a flame;
I find, with irrevocable passion, yours is the skin my lips crave.
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Therefore, having this ministry by the mercy of God, we do not lose heart.
Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap. "He's more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same." You know, I tend to think of myself as a modern day wander woman. I mean really, all I want to do is eat junk food and save the world. Nothing too major. But then stuff like this happens and totally steals my mojo. It's safe to say that I was a big fat baby and had to hold back tears while watching this. Why do we do this!? Us humans are really awesome at taking wonderful things and making them evil. Social media included. Social media is the perpetual double edged sword. It can bring light and dark. Happiness and sadness. Why do we live this lie? I will be the first to say that I am guilty of making my life rainbows and butterflies on social media. We don't ever post the bad stuff. The real stuff. Social media could be this amazing platform for broken people to connect with people who are lovers of others and assist them in finding joy. But instead we make it the pandoras box of lies. Ugh. That's all I've got. Just ugh! There's too much sadness in this world to even try to comprehend and deal with sometimes. This world needs Jesus and fast!
If you wanna read a much more eloquent article on the social media snare, click HERE! I just finished Job and if I am totally honest it left me with a headache! I now fully understand why people say it is a difficult book to read. I read it from my Apologetics Study Bible. I can't image reading it from a KJV. More power to those who were able to. That being said, my twisted little brain has somehow worked out an odd connection between the book of Job and my recent pursuit of the truth on pre-destination. Stay with me. This could get bumpy. Throughout Job, you will find statements of Job testifying his goodness and righteousness. He displays lack of understanding and pleads to argue his case before the Lord. "Teach me and I will be silent. Help me understand what I did wrong." Job 6:24 "I will say to God: Do not declare me guilty! Let me know why You prosecute me. Is it good for You to oppress, to reject the work of Your hands, and favor the plans of the wicked?" Job 10:2-3 "Yet I prefer to speak to the Almighty and argue my case before God." Job 13:3 "If only I knew how to find Him so that I could go to His throne. I would plead my case before Him and fill my mouth with arguments" Job 23:3 This theme continues through out the book of Job. Job pleading his case. Telling of his righteousness. Expressing the unfairness or lack of justice that the wicked go on living and prospering while he suffers. This, for me, became my struggle with pre-destination. How could a just Lord predestinate some to heaven and some to hell? How could a loving and merciful God do that? My small heart couldn't understand. Much like Jobs heart couldn't understand why a just God would allow a "good" man to suffer. But hear God's words. "Who is this who obscures [My] counsel with ignorant words?" Job 38:2 "Where were you when I established the earth? Tell [Me], if you have understanding?" Job 38:4 "Where is the road to the home of light? [Do you know] where darkness lives, so you can lead it back to its border? Are you familiar with the paths to its home? Job 38:19-20. "Who put wisdom in the heart or gave the mind understanding? Job 38:36 "Will the one who contends with the Almighty correct [Him]? Let him who argues with God give an answer." Job 40:2 And directly after Job 40, that's where Job (and myself) finally get it. It clicks. Job speaks, "I am so insignificant. How can I answer You?" Job 40:4. My trouble with understanding predestination was rooted in the fact that I thought to highly of myself. Of humanity. I knew I needed saving when I called on the Lord but in the depths of my heart I didn't grasp how undeserving I was of that saving. I have a compassionate heart that longs to see the "good" in people. But scripture tells us there is no good in us. "As it is written: There is no one righteous, not even one; there is no one who understands, there is no one who seeks God." Romans 3:10-11. To understand predestination I am fully convinced that one must first come to the understanding that we are all wicked and selfish. Even the "good" people. No one deserves heaven. No one deserves salvation. This must be the foundation you begin your search on. It took many years, lots of reading, and painful wrestling of the heart for me to come to this foundational truth. And in many ways I still wrestle with it. The flesh seeks after what it wants, which is the opposite of truth.
If any of that made sense to you, in the way that it did me; then you are a lucky person to understand my mind. Hopefully it was as enlightening to you as it was to my heart. Peace, Love, and Coping! I stole that clever title idea from my guy. ;) We went to Gatlinburg, Tennessee this weekend with his wonderful parents. Here are just a few of the many photos we took. It is absolutely gorgeous down there. It was wonderful to hike the mountains and experience Gods glorious creation with the man I love. Enjoy! Sometimes I wish that I could un-hear things.
Like the desperation in your cry when I made that phone call. It replays over and over in my head like a broken record until I am literally sick to my stomach with sadness. Against all of my best efforts I just can't seem to shake off your brokeness. It clings to me like a small child terrified to let go. I would give every ounce of my being to turn back time and change your life. To find the moment where it all snapped. I would use every bit of my strength holding that moment together. I would exhaust myself stuffing your shattered spirit back inside of you. But I can't. I can't go back. I can't hold it all together. I can't save you. Not even 6 months ago I had only met one of my siblings. The rest I found on facebook. A year ago one of my sisters wouldn't even acknowledge my existence. (When you come from a family like ours, it's hard to open up.) And now today I have officially met all of my siblings and have been blessed with the opportunity to build relationships with them. The more time we spend together, the more we learn how much we are all freakishly alike. It's just such a wonderful feeling to finally be able to make up for all of our years growing up without each other.
Friday I went with my two sisters to visit our pops in prison. It was the first time I had seen him in a year or more. It was also his first time seeing all of his girls together. EVER. I wish I could have captured the look on his face. He was so excited and surprised. Sitting at the table talking with him I just kept thinking about the insane path that had brought us all there... One of the sweetest and most precious moments I had was sitting in that prison with my sisters and pops. My sweet baby sister who is on fire for Jesus looked at our dad and with the boldness of a lion said, let's pray before we have to go. And in the middle of a room full of felons and their families, the four of us held hands, bowed our heads, and my amazing little sister lead us in a prayer. She didn't whisper. She didn't rush. She confidently called on the Lord for our family and our father and was an outstanding beam of light in that prison. Seeing her unwavering confidence moved me profoundly... Afterward we made the hour long drive home and simply sat on the couch watching YouTube videos with our youngest brother. What to many is an ordinary mundane activity was such a joyful and cherished experience for us. If you have loved ones. Squeeze them tight. Find joy in the everyday activities of your lives together. Take it from someone who missed out on 24 years of those experiences. Someday those little moments, will become the greatest memories you will ever have. Peace, Love, & Coping y'all. |
ABOUT THE GAL.Gospel saved, Kentucky raised, dreamer, do-gooder, and lover of people. I still believe it's possible to leave a beautiful mark on an ugly world.
THE GALS GUY.
This is my beau. He's a stud. Click the photo below to check out the epic-ness that is his blog: The War Within.
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